So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
