after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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