it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
