he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
