last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
