I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize