Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
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Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
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Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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