all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
