Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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