i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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