Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I will pee on everything he values.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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