Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
