dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Drake has all the answers
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
