Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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