omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I wish life had little blips of pornography
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
