I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
