Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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