you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
