I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
