HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
How's work?
Spinning.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
