just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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