I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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