she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
