the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
