seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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