At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
