should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
