it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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