So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize