I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
