i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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