DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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