saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
