i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
