there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
