opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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