I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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