It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
did you just send me my own nude
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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