I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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