imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
