you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
