this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
