I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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