I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
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She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
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NoShamevember. You game?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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