i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
