oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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