She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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