Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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