I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
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