Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
