I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
