so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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