Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
