I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
