well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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