she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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