im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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