Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We need to rekindle our bromance
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize