Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
