It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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