No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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