my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
