Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
