I need help removing her.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
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Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
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Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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